Posted by admin on April 30th, 2012 filed in General, Writing

I’ve been having a lot of dreams latey. The first variety is nightmares. Lots of graphic, violent nightmares. Besides people getting hit by cars, dismemberment, and words being carved in skin, there was also a tornado. I’m not sure what it all means, but I wish it’d stop.

The second kind is the hopes and dreams kind of dream. In my experience, this sort of dream mostly just makes me feel bad because I’m not achieving it. Stupid dreams. I mean, you nurture them, work toward them, sacrifice sleep, money, and effort to make these fragile things come to life. You get just enough success to give you hope and make the whole dream chase an emotional rollercoaster. Then they don’t work out anyway. So I subdue these dreams, nail shut the coffin, and put them in this mental dream cemetary and get on with my life. After a while, the dreams crawl out of their graves, like zombies. Then they attach onto my brain, like zombies. They sink in their teeth and don’t let go unless I exorcise them in some way, not quite like zombies. More like demon ghosts bent on possession. And getting the dreams to be quiet, it’s kind of like cutting the grass. You use the lawn mower to get rid of all the dandelions. But while you’re cutting, you watch the fluffy seeds blow past your face. You tried to eliminate the problem, but it’s only making it worse because all those seeds are off to start brand new plants that you’ll have to deal with. That’s kind of how my mind works with ideas and dreams, things to do. Try to achieve one thing and there are more to stem from it. Cut the head off that hydra and three are there to replace it. And they’re hungry for you, those zombie/demon/dandelion/hydra dreams.

I should probably start watching TV or something. Wanting to write things hasn’t really brought me a lot of happiness. On the contrary, I feel more frustration than anything. Then I berate myself for wasting talent and youth.

3 Responses to “Dreams”

  1. Travis Says:

    I don’t really have nightmares. I can control my dreams, and they are usually pretty messed up, but nothing especially scary. To me anyway.

    I don’t really have much in the way of hopes and dreams dream either. I don’t know, I think I’m wired differently than other people. I don’t really worry, and tend to be pretty laid back and I don’t usually have anxiety dreams because of that.

    Feeling bad because of not writing, I’ve been there. Fortunately, my writer’s block is over, but I had it for 4-5 years. Nothing written in that time. All I know is that sometimes a change in environment helps, as does not forcing it.

    Anywho, I’m off to bed to have my glorious dreams of murdering people and random sexy times.

  2. admin Says:

    For about 15 years I had nightmares about velociraptors. When I was 27, Maggie must have magically cured me, since the scary dreams stopped when she was born. But prior to that, raptors hunted me most nights.

  3. Ron! Says:

    Raptors? Do you read xkcd? You guys have something in common. I think I already told you that I don’t really dream. That isn’t true, though, since everyone dreams. It’s more accurate to say that my dreams are so non-vivid that they aren’t remembered. That’s why any time I have a “real” dream and I excitedly talk about it, and am amazed because it was so real, people are not impressed. On the flip side I have had a couple nightmares, and when I woke up I freaked out since I thought it was all real. Without 34 years of experience dealing with monsters in my dreams, my adult nightmares can be horrifying. It feel like Total Recall or The Matrix. You suddenly remember things that never happened. I seriously don’t know how people deal with it nightly.